drugs...

i've noticed i have a small problem with drugs.

i know they are bad for me but at the risk of getting all philosophical, life seem rather mundane and dull. we only live once, what is the point of breaking my ass to get a whole lot of material shit only to die in the end. also, why the hell would i have a baby and have them suffer the same thing. None of it makes sense, so i like to take a little something to help clear my mind and enjoy life more.

i mean recreational drugs are far less dangerous than the shit they put in our foods that is available to people of all ages. why is the world full of hypocrites, another question i ask myself while on drugs.

and after thinking all this i still wonder when (im 21 atm) i will get a job and move out of my parents place...RL seems so lame i wish i could live online.

money has always been a problem for my family, they struggled to pay the mortgage when me and my siblings were younger (some not even born) and that lead to a life of constant moving around from public housing to public housing. eventually settling into where we are now. there has been many more problematic situations in our families history, too many to list.

i'm always aware that there are many people worse off, much much worse off. that helps a little but if i just "stopped whining and got a job" then sure it might feel better and help me get over my situation easier, but the problems remain.

i need more drugs.